For the uninitiated:
Petz is an interactive virtual pet simulation program for the PC. The first Petz programs, Dogz and Catz, where put out by P.F. Magic in 1997. Dogz 2 and Catz 2 soon followed, then 3 and 4. Another company, Ubisoft, took the Petz brand over and released Dogz 5 and Catz 5 in 2002. This was the last old-school style Petz game. Ubisoft has since put out lots more games with the "Petz" brand name on them for various different platforms, but they aren't anything like the original 5 Petz versions. These games revolve around adopting pets from many different breeds of dog or cat, each breed having it's own unique looks and personalities. The code behind all this is simple, but brilliant. Each breed has a basic set of personality traits, but individual pets themselves can have their own behaviors and quirks. I've been a Petz player ever since 1998, when I found a copy of Dogz 2 in a computer store that was going out of business in California. It's just a cute, fun, addictive little program. A large online community sprang up around petz soon after the first games came out, and it's still around today. The original Petz games offer many different ways to interact and enjoy them aside from simply playing with the petz, including "hexing" or hacking the game's files to change how things in the game look/run, the appearance of the petz themselves, and create new breeds. In Petz 3, 4, and 5, the petz can be bred, allowing for a pretty much unlimited number of possibilities. Haven't you ever wanted to see what would happen if you bred a great dane with a chihuahua? Well, now you can on your computer...but it's not always pretty.
So, anyway, this petz program I talked about has a camera function on it that allows you to take snapshots of your petz in the game. This leads to some hilarious in-game photography. For your perverted viewing pleasure, I present "The Petz Kama Sutra." Those with very delicate sensibilities, who are easily offended by sex talk should avoid.
Kinda naughty PG-13ish stuff under the jump.
Foreplay:Kissing & Petting
Foreplay is a very important step in the act of love making. Kissing is an intimate act, and when done right, can stimulate and prepare both partners for further sexual pleasures.
Sexual Congress:Positions
One must evaluate which positions are best for the partner and situation. Communication with your partner is a must! Take place, time, enviroment, and the shape & weight of both you and your partner into consideration.
The Missionary Position: The most common sexual position. The male is on top, allowing him to take the lead.
The Reverse Missionary: Also a common position, most often favored by females as she is the one on top this time. She can now have better control over the speed and depth of penetration.
Oral Sex:Positions and Tips
Oral sex is considered by many to be more intimate than intercourse. Make sure there is a mutual agreement between you and your partner before attempting to perform these acts.
The Congress of the Crows (AKA: the 69 position)
One partner lays on top with his/her head pointed towards their partner's feet/paws so that both partner's mouths are within reach of their partner's genitals.
If you are your partner is of a breed with a lot of hair, cunninglinguis in particular can be a bit problematic. If possible, trim some of the hair prior to engaging in oral sex. Most of all, be patient: It's in there somewhere!
Next Chapter:Courtship, Dating, and the Filthy Sanchez.
For more positions and tips, purchase a full copy of "The Petz Kama Sutra" at your local bookstore.
Why yes, I am deranged, thank you very much. :)
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